So Not Expected

So I posted some pictures on FB, the other day, of my wife. They are pictures where she is clearly dressed as a woman. Most of my co-workers do not know that my wife is Transgender. I also try very hard to keep co-workers off my FB page. When I had surgery a few asked to be so that they could keep up with my health. Well I didn't delete some of them.

So while at work today one, I didn't delete and has seen the pictures, approaches me. She politely asks what is going on with my wife. She knew that term transgender and used it when asking. Keep in mind this a 50 something lady, married, 2 kids and 2 grandchildren. I was surprised that she was so informed.

She accepted that I said yes and basically said you have to do what you have to do. Then openly said that she had more question but, knew that it was not proper to ask them. Yet, she just couldn't stop herself from asking at least a couple of those forbidden questions. Which is normal and completely understood because sometimes you just can't help it. It is human nature to be curious.

The first question out of her mouth was "What is he planning on doing about down there?" The question my wife hates the most. I understand the need to ask.

So I kind of watch her flail and mumble around because she knows she shouldn't have asked such a question. She then proceeds to ask how I am handling it. Obviously, trying hard to switch gears and move on. Then in the middle of it all, she just stops, looks at me and asks, "Don't you like to fuck?"

I just couldn't believe it. Mrs. Grandma goody two shoes just asked if I like to fuck. Floored me but luckily I kept a straight face.

Pervs At a Concert

So a few Saturdays ago, my Partner In Crime (PIC) and myself were at a Barenaked Ladies and Blue Traveler show. We are sitting on the hill watching the big overhead screen and listening to Blues Traveler play when the following conversations happens...

(During one of John Popper's harmonica solos)
Me: Could you imagine that tongue down there?
PIC: Oh God yes!
Me: I think I just came in my panties thinking about it.
PIC: I have always thought the same way about guitar players.
Me: Yeah, skilled fingers down there would be really nice too.
PIC: I think, I just came in my panties!

We both bust out into laughter and continued to have a private joke for the rest of the evening. All I can say is I really do love my friends.

Funny How Things Go

You know you start out by doing things one way and it seems to be working. (For me it was waiting.) All seems to on the level and you have a feeling of this is great. This method is working so well that you just keep repeating it but then something comes along and that method doesn't work. What to do then?

You change your method. This meant approaching what I wanted first. This was very tough for me. Yes, believe it or not I am actually a shy person. So it took a few days for me to get courage up but, when I finally did it was so worth working the courage up for it.

So now everything that started from the original method has fallen the fuck apart. (Really, I think it was for the better) While things from the second method seem to be much more stable. I hope that they stay this way as I really like the direction in which things are headed.

I know that so many things effect these situations. Still it is funny how just one little change made by you yourself can make it feel so different.

Never Ever Forgotten

It has been 9 and 5 years since you each had to leave.  Still, I miss you more every day.  I want you to still be here.  I want you here to tell me it will be okay.  That I will make it through.  You two really were the best  people ever to have in my life.

I wish that I could have just one more hour with you both.  Give you one last hug.  Have one last talk.  Take from you the words of wisdom and strength that I need to get through this mess I currently call life.  I know that it will get better.  I have been surrounding myself with good people.  People who I am thankful for.  Also, I have you two and my brother watching over me.  You all keep me safe and are taking good care of my child.  I hope one day you send that child back to me.  Until then, thank you for watching over us.

Grandma, I want you to know that I have your feisty little German woman attitude.  I guess that was bound to happen with all the time I spent with you.  I still walk through the perfume section at Hudson's and always stop to smell Shalimar.  It was the one that you wore I liked the best.  Every now and again, I make sure I do the "Queen Wave".  I didn't get your love for shoes.  Instead, I got a love for purses.  Thanks Amelda.  That can be a pricey habit I could have lived without. lol.  I miss your chop suey.  I haven't had anything like it since you have been gone.  That is okay, cause I can still make Aunt Del's rolls.

Grandpa, Papa, I want you to know that I have your patience.  It takes a lot for me to tell some off but when I do they deserve it.  I must say, even though I use all the same ingredients and try to use the same amount of each, I can never quite master the peanut butter cracker they way you did.  I think it is missing the love you always added to it.  Also, i have to tell you, I love to tell the story of when you let me ride the tractor down the road and I and the seat fell off the tractor.  Still the tractor went down the road and you were laughing so hard you couldn't come help.  I also remember combing your hair.  I even remember the one time in the car that you got pulled over because I was standing and combing.  Then there were all the trips to the Patio.  I remember I always came home with something.  Even if it was a roll of paper towel.  The Patio is still there but it just isn't the same.

I thank you both for all that you provided me with in my life.  All that you taught me.  For letting my knock the garage off the foundation. (Sorry Papa). For making me the strong person that I am.  Without you guys I am sure that I wouldn't have survived life this far.  I hope that I made you proud while you were here.  I know that you made me proud.  Miss you still and always will.  Love you Grandma and Grandpa!

Even for a Moment

Dark and twisted
Violent and evil
Take my body
Empty it of need
Refill it with pleasure

Touch my body
Love my imperfections
Make my spine shiver
Caress my breasts
Run your tongue round

Sparks of excitement
Your breath against me
Tantalizing nibbles all over
Your gentle touch on my skin
The slow burn of passion

Hold me close in your arms
Make it only you and I
Allow me to melt into you
Refresh my strength
Protect me always
I want to be yours

~Violet 9/7/2012

You're in my Head...

Most times I don't mind at all.  Other times you make we wish for brain bleach.  The ups, the downs, and the somewhere in between make for one hell of a roller coaster ride.  I stood in line for years to ride this ride.  It makes me feel like such a newbie.  I am not used to the hills and valleys of this ride.  Yet, I am glad to be on it and don't want it to end.  I like the heart pounding, excitement building feeling of going up the hill.  I hate the stomach in throat, this is going to end fear of going down the valley.  

I am so used to the ferris wheel where it goes round in a boring circle.  Granted you get to see high and low on the wheel but your back is always faced towards the ride to the top.  Your eyes never see how you got to the high.  I'm tired of not seeing how I got there.  Also, it feels of late that the Carnie is always working on the wheel and I am stuck swinging somewhere between the two.

The Power of a Hug

A hug is one of the most powerful actions a person can make.  From family or friends it can show love, compassion, comfort, heal or just be a simple hello.  Those are all great things that a simple embrace can do.  At different times in our lives we will need a hug to fix those emotions.  Or will feel compelled to share a hug for one of those reasons.  Family and Friend hugs are some of the best things in this world but, nothing compares to the hug of a lover.

The embrace of a lover...just the thought of it can turn one on.  The passion, the heat, the drive, all the raw emotions that explode between two people.  Knowing that for that moment in time no others exist in the world.  Feeling that those arms can offer protection.  That when wrapped around you, they can make the troubles of your world melt away.  Arms strong enough to lift and support but gentle enough to caress and soothe.  Nothing is better then after, the heat of passion, laying collapsed together, panting and in each other's arms.

Often just the thought of a hug, from the right person, can send tingles to the core of my being and make me long for the release of orgasm.  That deep tingle and pull of muscles, the insatiable appetite that one can get from touch.  All of it drawn forth in that single moment, thought or action.  A simple action yet one of the most intimate.  Yet, my favorite and most adored thing to share with a lover.