In No Particular Order

I Want....

to be loved
to be wanted
to be missed
to be lovingly touched
to be cared about
to be kissed like in the story books
to be respected
my voice to be heard
someone who knows me inside and out
to be part of a family
arms to hold me tight
not to be scared
not to feel lonely
not to be the bottom of someone's to do list
someone who understands me
not to feel that I have lost everyone that I trust
not to be thrown away
not to feel brokenhearted
someone who I can trust my heart with
someone who acknowledges my feelings
to be the shiny and new
to be the one you come home to
someone who will be proud of me
someone who understands that I have an inner child

someone who wants simply me.


~Violet
9/07/2014

Ragey McRagerson at Your Service

So my morning radio show was talking about road rage the other day.  A lot of the callers complained of being cut off, flicked off, cussed out, driving to slow in the fast lane and even a few that spoke of being chased down.  All things that would personally make me a little ragey myself.

I can say without a doubt that 75% of my road rage could be cured very easily.  People just use your damn turn signals.  It is a safety feature that comes standard on all cars.  A simple flick of a lever and your intentions would be so clear to other people.  Fuck, throw me an old fashion hand signal.  Just give me a clue as to what you are doing.

I promise if you give me warning, I am less likely to give you the finger.  Or get really close to your bumper because you decided that you needed to come to a full stop to right turn your fucking Ford Fiesta into a driveway.  Yeah, I wasn't riding your ass but my SUV is heavier then your shit box and needs more stopping time.  I realize that you might have arthritis but, really, it doesn't mean that your car does!

Thanks for listening.  This little rant brought to you by my daily commute.

~Violet

Cupid is Fishing in the Wrong Waters

Really how hard is it to make a person understand what you are looking for in a partner?  How many signs do I have to post?  How many words to I have to say?  If I throw rocks at you, will you get it then?

I really feel that some people were dropped hard on their heads as babies.  Three different dating sites and the first line of my profile on all of them is, "I am NOT looking for just sex partners.  If that is what you are looking for move along."  Still with such a blunt and bitchy line I still get asked, on a regular basis, if I want to hook up.

Honestly, my favorite is when the "you want to hook up" question, is preceded by "I really liked your profile."  You fucking dumb fuck!!!  If you had really read my profile you wouldn't be talking to me.  It really is a simple concept.  Don't try to bullshit me.  Your lies are transparent and I see right though them.

So let's do us both a favor, save some time and read at least the first line of my dating site profile.  I read yours and I don't message you if we don't have the same goals.  So just do me that one solid and leave me the hell alone if sex is all that you are looking for.

~Violet

Over the River & Through the Woods

Not exactly headed off to grandma's house but I do believe this will be a grand adventure.  Almost a year to the day that I started something like this, I am starting it again but with a different person.  I feel so much more confident about this go round.  There are a couple reason for my boost of confidence.  I hope they make all the difference in the world.

I am a different person now.  I am not who I was a year ago.  I have struggled along and been through a ton of good and bad things this year.  All of them, no matter good or bad, have made me grow as a person.  I feel that I am able to stand up for myself better.  That I am also not afraid to verbalize my feelings.  Granted I still struggle with the right words sometimes but I get it out there.  This has been helpful in my communication with C.  She may not share my feelings but, I feel that I stand up to her more then I ever did before.  This has always been a struggle for me.  Mostly because I wanted to avoid arguments.  Now, I am finding myself and doing my thing no matter if she agrees or not.

I have also found that I can do things on my own.  Simple things that I hated to do on my own are not so hated anymore.  I can go out and have dinner in a non fast food restaurant by myself.  I can also clothes shop, even though sometimes I shouldn't, all on my own.  I am cool with friends still associating C and I together but sometimes the message doesn't always get to me.  Sending a message to the both of us would be better but it is what it is.

Another reason this venture will be different is because I believe the person I am starting it with is way more trustworthy.  Not saying that I would put all my trust in him yet but I am already more comfortable face to face with him.   We have also laid our situations and wants out openly and honestly.  I am sure we haven't shared all of out wants but those will come with time.  They will get out there as we talk and learn each other.  It was decided that we will take things slow and not rush.  Build a good foundation for things that could come.  Still already there are a lot of common interests and feelings on certain issues.

So I will carry my basket of new found confidence with me and hope that when I get to my destinations there isn't a wolf I have to stand up to!

All Aboard

One by one I will test the waters. The waves will knock me down but, I will pick myself up again and again. Gaining knowledge and learning my mistakes from every fall. Growing stronger each time I stand again.

I will also be the Siren who lures the sailors and then destroys their ship. Some I will truly regret having destroyed them.  They were simply looking for someone to board their ship.  I will be sad that others I did not send down to the depths of Poseidon.

Eventually, I will stand strong against the waves and board the ship that takes me on the journey of a lifetime.  Around the world and back.  Finally settling on our own Mount Olympus and reigning over it just as Zeus and Hera did.

~Violet

Bedtime With You

 We are in the living room and it is almost bedtime.  You are on the couch and I am on the floor with my head in your lap.  I have just given you a blow job.  You tell me that you are tired and tell me it is time for bed.  I tell you that I don't want to go and get up and sit on the other side of the room.  You get up, stand in front of me and tell me to get up.  I refuse.  You repeat yourself.  I still refuse.  So you take you hand and grab a firm handful of hair at the nape of my neck.  At that point I give control of all my movements over to you.  You make me rise and walk to the bedroom.

Once in the bedroom, you make me strip you.  Then quickly and roughly you undress me.  You make me stand in front of the bed with my ass towards it.  You sit behind me on the bed.  You then instruct me to bend down and place my hands on my ankles.  Then you move me in closer.  You raise your hand to spank my bare ass.  I flinch away from you.  You warn me not to move again or it will be worse. So you raise your hand again and come down hard on my ass.  You raise it again and come down hard on the other cheek.  You do this again and again.

When you are done. Tears have formed in my eyes.  You allow me to stand, turn me around to make me face you and then I kneel in front of you.  You grab me by the chin and force me to look in your eyes.  You ask if I understand why I was punished as you wipe the tears out of my eyes.  I shake my head yes.  You tell me that you didn't hear me.  So I speak up and tell that "I understand, Sir."

You now allow me to take my side of the bed.  You gently rub the welts on my ass. Sliding your hand further and further down to between my thighs.  You rub all up and down into my pussy.  Each slide making me wetter and wetter.  You slide all the way down to my clit.  You spend extra time there gently stroking my clit and sliding your fingers in.  Making me closer and closer to cumming.  You know that I am almost there and you stop all hands off.

You now grab my hair and lead me to your cock.  Telling me to make it hard and wet.  Keeping your hand in my hair.  Once, i make it hard and wet, you guide me back to the head of the bed and put my face into the pillows and my ass in the air.  You then come behind me and drive your cock hard and deep into my pussy.  I let out a little yelp.  You slap my ass and tell me to be quiet.  You only want to hear me ask if I can cum.

You keep pounding your hard cock into my pussy.  I can feel your rhythm increase speed.  Going harder and harder as you continue on.  Then suddenly you stop and pull completely out of me.  Then I feel your hands slap my ass hard. I pull away from you.  You tell me to get back to my spot and hit my cheeks again.  Warning me that if I move again it will be much worse.

You grab my hips and drive your hard cock into my wet pussy.  I sink my head in to the pillow and let out a moan.  It feels so good.  Then you slowly slide out and drive back into me as hard as you can.   Your so deep I can feel it in my stomach.  You pull back only a little but stay deep inside me.  Suddenly you are pounding me so hard and deep, I can can feel myself on edge again.  It feels so good and I want the release.  I want to feel you cum inside of me.

I can't take it much longer so I ask if I may cum.  You tell me no.  I can feel that you are close as well.  Your breathe has quickened to match the rhythm in which you are thrusting into me.  I am am almost ready to explode.  So I beg you to please let me cum.  "Please Sir, I can not take much more."

Just as I finish my begging, I feel you start to cum in me.  You tell me that I may cum now.  I let myself go. I feel all the sweet happiness and pleasure of you and I cumming together.  We both cry out as we climax.  I feel you hot and soothing inside me.  You feel my pussy pulse against your cock.  Squeezing it as if lapping up every last drop of cum that she can get.

We collapse together on to the bed.  You lay on your back and draw me in close to you.  I place my head on your chest.  Together our breath slowly returns to normal.  I look deep into your eyes and tell you thank you.  You kiss my forehead and tell me that I am your good baby girl.  We then drift off to sleep wrapped up in each other.

Messenger to Hangouts It's All Online

I have always been fearful of the online relationship.  Mainly because when I first started, this search, I didn't find the right kind of people.  People looking for nothing more then sex.  Another who wanted nothing more then to Dom me from a far.  For someone who is not into masturbation, trying to do that was just absolutely ridiculous.  My favorite was the guy who wanted me to watch porn with him and critique it!  hahaha...that actually was fun.

Now, don't get me wrong, there are a couple online relationships that I am glad to have.  I just wish that they were closer to me in distance.  I have two men that I have met and I am very grateful for them.  One is a friend that I have know for over a year.  Working on almost two years.  He is a caring, fun loving, and someone I can turn to at anytime for anything.  He lives in Indiana and lack of money, on both sides, is really the only reason that we have not met.  I hope that soon things get better. I do intend to visit him and his girl.  He is a good person that I really would like to meet and show my gratitude to.

The second one is a much newer relationship.  Yet, I feel so greatly connected with him.  He is currently deployed but when he comes home it will be to Ohio.  Roughly three and a half hours away but that drive will seem like nothing when I can go see him.  He is kind, caring, funny, interested in my life, cute, and amazing.  He came into my life at a time that was right before very stressful events happened in my life.  He was there and supportive when my mother passed away.  For that alone, I can not thank him enough.

He has touched my heart in a way no one else has.  A simple hello can make me smile all day long.  I have promised him that when he gets home and settled I will come visit.  I am excited to meet him and I will not be the one who stands him up a second time.  I care about him.  A simple flight between places for him had me worried to no ends.  I mean I stay up to talk to him before he goes to work and we are on a seven hour difference.

We have talked about things that I haven't discussed with other people in a long time.  Told him about the simplest things in my life to my darkest secrets.  I trust him. He doesn't want me to limit myself.  He has told me to keep dating and meeting people.  When it is over he just wants to hear the details.  On the other hand, if he gets to go on a date I want to know about it as well...hahaha.  He told me that he is just someone behind a computer screen.  I understand why he doesn't want me to get to connected and why he wouldn't want himself to become connected to me.


~Violet