Monday, October 8, 2012

Where Did Those Bricks Come From?

You know that feeling, when a realization hits you and it feels like a ton of bricks landed on you.  Not the best feeling ever but, often provides you with that moment of clarity that has been needed.  A few weeks ago, I had one of those moments.

It hit me today, that I am currently in a Monday through Friday 9 to 5 relationship with no weekends and occasional overtime.  Those are great hours for an old school business but, not for a relationship.  Especially, since a lot of the new school businesses are open 24 hours.  I want something that has overtime and even a weekend every now and again.  I wish it could be the relationship that I am in.  I understand that what he has to loose is way more then what I have to loose.  I am trying to be strong and understanding.  Still every now and again a feeling of overwhelmingly loneliness just creeps in there and smacks me in the face.

I think I need to ask more questions.  Get answers and figure out what direction I should really head in.  I would love to get answers that make the waiting all worth while.  I just wish I could believe that what I am waiting for will actually happen.