Not exactly headed off to grandma's house but I do believe this will be a grand adventure. Almost a year to the day that I started something like this, I am starting it again but with a different person. I feel so much more confident about this go round. There are a couple reason for my boost of confidence. I hope they make all the difference in the world.
I am a different person now. I am not who I was a year ago. I have struggled along and been through a ton of good and bad things this year. All of them, no matter good or bad, have made me grow as a person. I feel that I am able to stand up for myself better. That I am also not afraid to verbalize my feelings. Granted I still struggle with the right words sometimes but I get it out there. This has been helpful in my communication with C. She may not share my feelings but, I feel that I stand up to her more then I ever did before. This has always been a struggle for me. Mostly because I wanted to avoid arguments. Now, I am finding myself and doing my thing no matter if she agrees or not.
I have also found that I can do things on my own. Simple things that I hated to do on my own are not so hated anymore. I can go out and have dinner in a non fast food restaurant by myself. I can also clothes shop, even though sometimes I shouldn't, all on my own. I am cool with friends still associating C and I together but sometimes the message doesn't always get to me. Sending a message to the both of us would be better but it is what it is.
Another reason this venture will be different is because I believe the person I am starting it with is way more trustworthy. Not saying that I would put all my trust in him yet but I am already more comfortable face to face with him. We have also laid our situations and wants out openly and honestly. I am sure we haven't shared all of out wants but those will come with time. They will get out there as we talk and learn each other. It was decided that we will take things slow and not rush. Build a good foundation for things that could come. Still already there are a lot of common interests and feelings on certain issues.
So I will carry my basket of new found confidence with me and hope that when I get to my destinations there isn't a wolf I have to stand up to!
